I Want Things To Be Easy

I've learned this about myself.  It's not that I mind hard work, but I like hard work on problems that are inherently difficult.  When something becomes more difficult than it should be because problems come up, or I can't find the right person to help me, or I have to wait on other people to do things before I can do my things, and so on...  my patience goes to about 0 and I get quite discouraged.  I so wish I could be one of those people that just plugs through things.  But alas, I think those are the same people who are endurance runners, expert violinists, and graduate school enthusiasts.  I am none of those things.

If we want to get philosophical here, there's a point to quit, right?  If you don't, it's called banging your head against a wall.  For example, starting programs in a small town is tricky.  People don't necessarily want new programs because they're... new.  They're change.  They come from these out-of-town folk.  So putting time, effort, and money into those things can feel rather futile.  At the same time, these programs are usually good ideas.  In the nonprofit world, I think you just have to keep going, hope that your work affecting people's lives for the better, and hope you're able to bow out gracefully if it's ever clear that something just isn't working.  

And speaking of making new programs happen... the title of this post should really probably be "I Want Things To Be Easy and I Don't Like Asking For Help".  It's not that I mind talking to people.  I just don't like being dependent on them.  And I don't like putting people I don't know very well in a position where they have to say yes or no to my requests.  I've known this for a long time, deep down, but it's really come out in full force lately because my job suddenly requires me to ask the WHOLE TOWN for help.  I'm only being a little dramatic.  After my weekly meeting with Justin on Monday, I realized that my to-do list included talking to no less than 15 people about things we need.  Tillers, excavating equipment, manure, soil, pump installation, a sign, compost... the list goes on.  PACT, of course, doesn't have those things, it's only me coordinating the garden, and even if I were to figure out how to install a pump, for example, there's no way I should because it would take too much time away from everything else I need to do.   I can't just do what needs to be done, and that's the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night (not really, I go right to sleep at night. but it does make me toss and turn in the morning. That's just not as good of a phrase).  

Of course, if I were home, those things would be easy.  Everyone tells you that you're going to look back on your childhood and be like "man, I didn't realize how great I had it".  I grew up on a farm, and I've always been appreciative of that, but I totally took for granted how great it was to have large machinery, tools, mechanics, laborers, and a dad and brothers with years of experience and wisdom at my back door.  Why, WHY am I starting a garden 1500 miles away from home?

That's rhetorical.  I'm happy to be here.

I'm complaining, but a lot of things have happened because some amazing people have helped me out.  Kathy Ryan (a City Council member who's a mover and shaker) got the city guys to do a rough dig on the garden beds for me.  Richard Seely, a sweet elderly man, is letting us borrow his tiller.  We had a great group of students from the University of New Mexico come and do some functional art pieces at the garden site, including a mushroom water filtration system, a bicycle pump, and a structure made out of reclaimed wood.  Many others have offered contacts or advice (so much advice... so many opinions... usually contradictory... "well now, you have to watch out if you're doing flood irrigation, because the salt will rise up through the soil", or "the only way to get rid of the salt is by flooding the bed and leeching it down"... take your pick! Votes?  Anyone?).

The humble beginnings of our compost pile.  You can see the excavated garden beds in the background.

Structure parts

It's a bicycle pump!

Mushroom filtration "worm" (don't worry, all the locals think it's weird too)

UNM students

And really, if I'm honest (ugh), it's a good learning experience to work through problems and to be dependent on other people.  It's allowed me to form connections that I wouldn't have otherwise, and I think it helps community members engage in our garden space.

But be careful of thinking things like "I wish I had a little more patience", or "I wish I could be one of those people who just sticks with things long term until they happen", or "You know what would be a great idea? A community garden." because soon enough, you'll probably just get the chance to work on those things.

The Weekend

I've occasionally been asked how I spend my weekends out here, and because Green River, Utah is FULL of riveting excitement, I'll tell you a bit about them.

I've been here for almost 7 months now, most of which were fall/winter.  Now, thankfully the winter here wasn't too bad at all, not compared to the polar vortexes experienced in recent Indiana winters, but it did limit the amount of outdoor fun that one can have in the middle of nowhere Utah.  Unless, of course, you're a super hard-core hiker, which I cannot claim to be.

So, winter weekends usually contained things like reading books, watching movies, and hanging out.  I've managed to make it through the entire Harry Potter series.  On the surface, it's so that I can better relate with Hope (lover of all things Harry Potter), but really I'm also glad I had an excuse to finish all of them.  There's also no shortage of time to pick up those personal projects laid by the wayside in college- music, pictures, crocheting, etc.- and make food.

Sometimes the weekend includes going to the BIG CITY (Grand Junction, town of 60,000).  I've come to experience abnormal excitement over things like Target, B-dubs, haircuts, and Taco bell.  In general, I am not a supporter of chain restaurants, but when you can't get a crunch wrap supreme whenever you want you just start to crave that toasty, crunchy, creamy goodness.  I've found that most people in Green River experience this phenomenon to some degree.  For Hope, I think it's Pizza Hut, book stores, and cats.  There's a robust yippy dog population here, but alas, few cats.

Inevitably, when I go anywhere on the weekend with a real grocery store, I feel pressured to go in.  Even if I don't know of anything I need, I'm wracking my brain for anything that might come up in the near future (or like, a month).  After being in Green River for so long, I find the shopping experience to be totally overwhelming.  It's something like the Beverly Hillbillies going to the city for the first time.  I think my heart rate increases as soon as I step in the door at the panic of navigating all the aisles.  Finding what I need requires so much concentration that the other shoppers probably think I'm suffering from severe constipation.  I stand and stare at the options in a shell-shocked trance (seriously, there are so many types of crackers...), and I totally can't handle the number of people I have to maneuver around.  The Melon Vine may not have like half of the things I used to eat- things like tofu, gouda, and sea salt (really)- but man, it's so easy to shop there.

When it's not cold, you can usually find me doing something outdoors at least one day of the weekend.  Middle-of-nowhere Green River may not be conducive for social plans, but it's certainly good for exploration.  Around 70% of Utah is public land... there are literally limitless options of places to hike, climb, bike, camp, etc.  Hence, I've gone to a number of cool places, and I hope to continue doing so.  There's a lot of fun things right around Green River, including Swasey's Beach (a truly lovely beach), the San Rafael Swell, and the Blue Castle butte (pronounced byoot, for all you immature people) area.  Arches and Canyonlands national parks are both less than an hour away.

These adventures are hard to describe without pictures. So, it's a little crazy... prepare yourself... I will now inundate you.  Stay tuned, I'm sure there will be many more this summer.

- Arches & Canyonlands -

Delicate Arch with Brent and Tadd when they came to visit

Cyrus was a visiting artist in Green River for awhile.  He decided to give a lovely little concert at Arches.

I had the pleasure of joining Grant and Anne on a little jeep trip through Canyonlands.

Overlook of the Green River in Canyonlands

Upheaval Dome (Canyonlands)

- Other Moab-area sites - 

Fischer Towers

Loved having my family over Thanksgiving!

Corona Arch

Mill Creek

Potash mineral "ponds"

I thought my eyes were blue, but they're so not in comparison to these beautiful ponds.

Professor Creek

 - Close to Salt Lake City -

Fifth Water Hot Springs

Wintery hike near the Red Butte Garden

Park City

On top of the slopes with Tadd and Brent

 - Green River Area - 

Little Wild Horse Canyon

Goblin Valley State Park

Black Dragon Canyon

Swasey's Beach

Uniquely stable mud castles built by Hope and Bryan

February 29th.  Justin and I are jumping in every month of the year.  

Uneva Mine Canyon

That there is my other roommate, Mollie

Bunker area

The minerals sometimes make crazy colors in the soil

The buttes

One of many petroglyph panels

Then, like in any good small town, there's shooting guns and watching sunsets.

An Ode to Cacti

Oh look, some cacti enjoying the sunshine in Canyonlands.

For some reason, I have a small cactus obsession (not an obsession with small cacti, but an obsession with cacti that is not very extreme... yet).  It's kind of the same with succulents, but because really trendy things awaken some kind of "anti-mainstream" complex in me, I'm trying to keep a lid on that one.  Don't worry, I do have a few succulents, so I'm not totally depriving myself.  

I'm assuming I like cacti so much because, well, they weren't really around in Indiana, and seeing things in real life that I've only seen in pictures turns me into a child.  

Utah doesn't have those traditional fork-shaped cacti... those are further south and at lower elevation, but we do have a lot of prickly pear cacti.  Whenever I go hiking, I inevitably end up with one or two (or five or six) cactus pictures.  They are usually preceded by me shrieking "A CACTUS!" like a little girl and running over to it.  

One time, when we were out on a pictograph/petroglyph hunt, I meandered off the trail a little ways and Justin found me entranced in the middle of a little prickly pear forest.  

SO MANY CACTI

So, my apologies, this post is nothing more than an excuse for me to compile some of my cacti pictures and look at their cute little spiny selves.  I hope you enjoy them too.   

It's an extra-poofy cactus!

It's a cactus who overtook a plant!

This is not a cactus.  Just making sure you're paying attention.  And yuccas are nice too.

It's an extra spiky cactus!  I think this one's the "mojave" variety of prickly pear.

And finally... baby cacti!

Right now you're probably having some kind of "oh my gosh, this is Amber's sad life now" moment.  It's true.  I used to spend my time with lots of people, and now it's lots of cacti.  But really, people and cacti are not so different.  To really appreciate either of them, you have to find the beauty in all the spikes.